Ridin on the Met-ro-o-o…

So, as every morning, I was riding the bus into work, when I happened to see this teeny tiny little girl with the most gi-normous afro puffs ever.  I kinda wanted to go bury my face in em or something, she was so cute.  Anyways, she was egging her little brother on, as sisters are wont to do, and they played a delightful game of parroting eachother.  Charming, right?  That’s what I thought too, until she started yelling “Flavor FLAAAAAV,” just like one of the numerous hoochies with no self-respect that demean themselves every week on his repulsive show, which I am shamefully addicted to.  It’s like looking into the sun- I am dazzled and filled with fear.   So, I make a joke to the girls father “Big NWA fan, huh,” to which he replies, “Nah, she just likes the show.”  Now, I’m no square, I’m not L7, but the idea of this man letting his 8 year old daughter watch that kind of crap made me really sad and kinda weirded me out.  Good role models there, fo sho!  If by role models you mean disease vectors in pink bras.  

All I could do is imagine her doing the bootie clap in Flav’s face in front of a camera 10 years in a tube dress.  What would daddy think of her then?  Sir, do you really want your daughter grinding on and sticking her tongue down the throat of someone easily old enough to be her father?  Ewwwwww…

DUDE IS NOT ATTRACTIVE.  It doesn’t matter if he has money- one can do better.  Someone that shiny without the aid of lotion should really have a full body CT and make sure everything’s okay.  He should also eat a sammich or 6.  In addition, HE WEARS VIKING HORNS AND SCREAMS HIS OWN NAME OVER AND OVER!  Poor, POOR Chuck D.  All that hard work and drive and brilliance, to have his cred blown by a half-wit being dry humped by golddiggers that don’t even know why the person she’s dry humping is famous.

Really, the words dry hump are really repulsive.

You know what else is a repulsive word combo?  Anal barf!

I love the word barf- it’s one of my favorites. 

I need to get out more.  Seriously.