Archive for July, 2008

Hey Joe, Where You Goin With that Picket Sign in Yo Hand?

July 30, 2008

Dude, my friend Joe rules ass.  He is the most politically vocal person I know, and has the cajones to back up what he says with his actions.  He made it by name into the NY Times.  Rock the fuck on, Broseph.  Bahee!  Good to see you out there fightin the good fight.  See below for article.

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/07/13/us/politics/13liberal.html?partner=rssnyt&emc=rss

Obama Supporters on the Far Left Cry Foul

Brian Lee for The New York Times

Martha Shade of Portland, Ore., was “disgusted” by apparent shifts by Senator Barack Obama.

Now, however, after critics have accused Mr. Obama of shifting positions on issues like the war in Iraq, the Bush administration’s program of wiretapping without warrants, gun control and the death penalty — all in what some view as a shameless play to a general election audience — Ms. Shade said she planned to switch back to the Green Party.

“I’m disgusted with him,” said Ms. Shade, an artist. “I can’t even listen to him anymore. He had such an opportunity, but all this ‘audacity of hope’ stuff, it’s blah, blah, blah. For all the independents he’s going to gain, he’s going to lose a lot of progressives.”

Of course, that depends on how you define progressives.

As Ms. Shade herself noted, while alarm may be spreading among some Obama supporters, whether left-wing bloggers or purists holding Mr. Obama’s feet to the fire on one issue or another, the reaction among others has been less than outrage.

For all the idealism and talk of transformation that Mr. Obama has brought to the Democratic Party — he managed to draw a crowd of more than 70,000 here in May — there is also a wide streak of pragmatism, even among many grass-roots activists, in a party long vexed by factionalism.

“We’re frustrated by it, but we understand,” said Mollie Ruskin, 22, who grew up in Baltimore and is spending the summer here as a fellow with Politicorps, a program run by the Bus Project, a local nonprofit that trains young people to campaign for progressive candidates. “He’s doing it so he can get into office and do the things he believes in.”

Nate Gulley, 23, who grew up in Cleveland and is also here as a Politicorps fellow, said too much was being made of Mr. Obama’s every move.

“It’s important not to get swept up in ‘Is Obama posturing?’ ” Mr. Gulley said. “It’s self-evident that he’s a different kind of candidate.”

Bob Fertik, president of Democrats.com, a progressive Web site, started asking his readers last month to pledge money to an escrow fund for Mr. Obama, as opposed to contributing to him outright. The idea was to make Mr. Obama rethink his decision to support the Bush administration’s wiretapping measure.

Mr. Obama initially said he would try to filibuster a vote, but on Wednesday he was among 69 senators who voted for the measure, which to many liberals represents a flagrant abuse of privacy rights. The legislation grants legal immunity to telecommunications companies that cooperated with the wiretapping program.

So far, 675 people have pledged $101,375 to Mr. Fertik’s escrow fund, money that theoretically would be donated to Mr. Obama once he showed a firm commitment to progressive values, Mr. Fertik said.

But Mr. Fertik also said that while Mr. Obama’s change on the spying issue upset some supporters, it was not necessarily emblematic of a troubling shift to the center. He said he continued to support the senator, though he added, “We don’t see the need to close our eyes and hold our noses until November.”

Still, others warned that Mr. Obama risked being viewed as someone who parses positions without taking a principled stand.

“I’m not saying we’re there yet, but that’s the danger,” said David Sirota, a liberal political analyst and author. “I don’t think there’s disillusion. I think there’s an education process that takes place, and that’s a good thing. He is a transformative politician, but he is still a politician.”

Joe McCraw, 27, a video engineer from San Carlos, Calif., who writes three liberal blogs, said Mr. Obama’s shift on the domestic spying measure was a watershed moment.

“This is the first time I’ve ever seen him lie to us, and it makes me feel disappointed,” Mr. McCraw said. “I thought he was going to stand up there, stand by his campaign promises like he said he would, and it turns out he’s another politician.”

Many Obama supporters said the most vocal complaining about various policy positions was largely relegated to liberal bloggers and people who might otherwise support Ralph Nader, the independent candidate, or Dennis J. Kucinich, the liberal Ohio congressman who dropped out of the presidential race earlier this year.

“I think it’s accentuated by the fact that Obama’s appeal is an appeal to idealism,” said Kari Chisholm, who runs a blog, blueoregon.com, and does Internet strategy for Democratic candidates. “They believe their ideology is the only idealism and Obama’s is very mainstream. I’m not surprised they’re getting a little cranky. They’ve always been kind of cranky. A mainstream Democrat has always been too mainstream for them.”

Some of Mr. Obama’s supporters say he is less vulnerable to accusations of flip-flopping on issues because his campaign ultimately has been built on his biography and philosophy.

Rodent Arthritis

July 25, 2008

I saw a squirrel running across the street this morning.  It was more like he spoinged across.  Spoing, spoing, spoing.  It made me wonder if old squirrels and rabbits have terrible pain in their tiny tiny ankles with all that compacting of their wee joints from all that spoinging.  It made me sad.  Then I thought of a tiny squirrel driving a tiny Rascal and laughed my ass off.

Dave Gahan Gave Me Bad Spelling

July 25, 2008

I can’t ever spell the word pursue right the first time. 

Dave Gahan pronounces it “per-sue,” in “Policy of Truth” off Violator.

So, since I’ve been in 7th or 8th grade, I have misspelled it every time I’ve gone to write it, I write persue.

“Never again, that’s what I swore the time before,” I say to myself.  And then I hate myself for speaking to myself in Depeche Mode lyrics.  I didn’t actually do that.  I might be a little daft, but not that daft. 

“Policy of Truth” always makes me think of Ryan McDuffie, my junior high crush.  We got into a fight on Halloween in 8th grade and he hit me in the face with his backpack.  He was the only kid brave enough to wear a Nitzer Ebb t-shirt to our ghetto-ass junior high.  He was a dreamboat.  I cried in the bathroom afterwards.  This song made me think of him and his pretty, pretty blond bowlcut.  Man, he was a looker. 

Damn you, Dave Gahan!  Damn you to hell.

You do have one of the most lovely voices in rock music, though.

Hey, That’s My New Band Name

July 25, 2008

1) Arthritic Rabbit

2) Scabby Jesus- Look!  It’s Dolph Lundgren!

JOHNNY M 331.JPG

Hell Yes!

July 22, 2008

Dude!

The universe winks!

Someone up there understands me.

Thank you, Baby Jesus, thank you.  I won’t besmirch your name again for a while.

I will have a million babies with whoever made this glorious site. 

http://sarahjessicaparkerlookslikeahorse.com/

My Gump, My Gump, My Gump, My Lovely Tarded Lumps- Check it Out!

July 22, 2008

Okay- so I sat through part of Forrest Gump a couple of weeks ago (well, the end), and something occurred to me. 

Dude. got. hustled.

Check it- so your drugged out skag of a best friend bails on you for HOW many years, through you going to Nam, your best friend dying in Nam, your mom dying, then all of a sudden wants to be your homie again when she realizes she’s about to die a single mom?  Something ain’t right there.

You can practically hear the gears in her head “He’s stupid as fuck, he’s loaded, I won’t have to fuck him because I’m dying of an STD, he’s loaded, he loves me no matter what, he’s loaded, and I can stick him with my kid because he’s too stupid to know it could be anyone’s, considering what I’ve been up to, and he’s loaded.”

Conclusion:  Lieutenant Dan ain’t the only one with magic legs, kids.

Mix Tape Friday 2- Eine Kleine Nachtmusic / Good Songs for a Full Moon

July 22, 2008

Dude, I love a full moon, especially on a summer night. It makes me wanna sit on a porch with a cold beer and stare at the sky all night. So, this list is dedicated to stargazing, daydreaming, and sleeplessness, I guess… 

1) Television- Marquee Moon:  Possibly one of my favorite songs ever.  It’s long so it isn’t for everyone, especially if you don’t feel 4 minute guitar freakouts.  Tom Verlaine’s voice isn’t for everyone either.  It’s kinda like capers, you either like em or you don’t.  I am not making this sound so good right now.  It rules, rest assured.

2) Van Morrison- Moondance:  Fuck you.  I can already see the eye rolls.  I think it’s a sexy, romantic song.  It’s in American Werewolf in London, one of my very favorite movies.  I wanted to play it at my wedding when I was 16-ish.  It was part of my old e-mail address.  I’ve said too much now. Moving on.  Whatever.  I still love it.

3) Echo and the Bunnymen- The Killing Moon:  This song is haunting and cool- I love how metallic it sounds.  Plus, it’s new wavey.  My favey.  I kinda hate myself for doing that just now.  Eeeewwwwwww.  All apologies to
Ian McCullough.

4) Nick Drake- Pink Moon:  It’s. So. Fucking. Sweet.  His voice makes my heart want to bust through my ribcage all Koolaid Man styley.

5) Prince- Under the Cherry Moon:  You can always count on Prince. He makes a lot of my mix tape lists.  

6) The Talking Heads- Moon Rocks:  I love the punk/funk guitar sound to this- kinda Clash-y.  The way David Byrne says “So take your hands out of your pockets …And get your face adjusted” is awesome!!!  He does the growly thing.

7) Tom Waits-Rosie / Little Trip to Heaven: Closing Time is one of the greatest albums ever, and I really really really love every track on it.  It’s impossible to choose one, for real, but it would be a tie between these two. One about lost love, one about found, depends on your mood, I guess.

8) Cibo Matto- Sugar Water: It’s slinky and sultry and the lyrics make no fucking sense.  Everything I like in a song.  It just makes you feel like a stone cold fox listening to it.  Good “getting ready to go out – make up time- singing in my chones” jam.  “The velocity of time turns her voice into sugar water…”  Say whaaaaaaa?

9) Jeff Buckley- So Real: Contains one of my favorite lines ever in a song – “Love, let me sleep tonight on you couch…And remember the smell of the fabric of your simple city dress.” Jesus.  Makes your lil romantic liver quiver, don’t it?

10) TV on the Radio- Wolf Like Me: Ah, a werewolf song not involving Warren Zevon.  The line “When the moon is round and full, gonna teach you tricks that will blow your mind…” is so freakin hot, much like Tunde Adabimpe himself.  Damn.  That is one sexy indierock motherfucker.  Rawr! I’d tear into him like a pitbull would a laundry hamper full of helpless kittens.  Only sexier.

11) Supergrass- Bad Blood: I love a good song about being restless, as an insomniac.  Go get yourself a copy of Diamond Hoo Ha Man.  It’s so fucking bomb.  So. Bomb.  Gaz Coombes is the awesome, and kinda looks like a semi-handsome version of Dr. Zeus.

12) Jim Carrol Band- I Write Your Name: One of the best songs ever I have heard about being pathetically obsessed with someone who doesn’t love you anymore.  It’s noisy, it’s desperate, I love it.  “I write your name in thick black ink, on stones I throw just to watch them sink.” Daaaaang.

13) New Order- The Perfect Kiss: It’s one of my very favorites, if not my favorite New Order single.  Another kinda floaty dreamy song.  Everything about it is genius.  It makes you wanna dance, but it’s totally depressing. You can chill to it, or party to it.  I love that it is multiutilitarian, kinda like a Swiss Army knife, only sadder, and maybe a little gay flavored.

14) Berlin- The Metro: Another good one about lost love. It’s a good daydreamy song, because of Terri Nunn’s droney thing she does.  It’s also really awesome at full blast in your bathroom when you’ve been doing mushrooms.  Trust me.  Good times.  Staring at a Simpson’s chessboard that is staring back at you, all the fucking characters at once, not so good times.  

15) Calexico- The Black Light: One of my favorite songs to travel by night to.  Excellent night driving song, but you have to make sure to play something uptempo afterwards if you’re getting sleepy.  Otherwise, your shit will go right into an embankment, gar-on-teed.  The last word is the word “drifting” being whispered over and over again.  It kinda lends itself to that.

16) The Decemberists-Here I Dreamt I Was an Architect: Oh, Collin Meloy, why did you have to go all Jethro Tull bloat land on me?  The Crane Wife sucks so bad, it makes me forget you were ever good.  But this song rules. The music is lovely and the lyrics are fantastical- a good, sleepy tempo.

17) Siouxie Sioux and the Banshees- Face to Face: It’s so gooooooooooth. “Siamese twins, writhing intertwined…” Oh, Lordy.  Makes me wanna go put on my black and white tights and too much eyeliner and lipsync it in the mirror, just like I did when I was 13.

1 8) Hedwig and the Angry Inch (John Cameron Mitchell)- Midnight Radio: This is such a hairbrush song.  I love the line “And all you strange rock-n-rollers, you know you’re doing all right!”  I hate John Cameron Mitchell for being as hot as a dude as he is as a chick.  Bastard.  He’s nuclear hot.  It’s so insanely unfair.  Woe to his life partner, who he will always be hotter than.  I want to know where he gets that glittery red lipstick.  SO HOT.

19) Michael Penn- No Myth: It’s Sean Penn’s brother, dude!  Okay, I admit this is a little adult contemporary, but that really lame hopeless romantic side of me loves the line “So what if I was Romeo in black jeans?”  I don’t know why, I just think it’s sweet, in a boring, Sting-y kinda way (except that it doesn’t suck).  The other great line is “between the poles and the equator, don’t send a private investigator to find me please, unless he speaks Chinese, and can dance like Astaire on the breeze.”  I like how whimsical it is.

20) Joy Division- Something Must Break: Complete and utter perfection.  It’s menacing and loud and makes you feel all crazy and dancy.  Have you ever noticed how the word menacing looks like a creepy word?  Kinda like the word weird.  Trippppppppy.  Weird, weird, weird, weird….it doesn’t even look like a real word anymore.  Okay, I’m done now.  Sorry.

Mixtape Friday- Mix Tape #1- The Mega Happy Mix

July 12, 2008

So, Incipid Lyrics Friday got boring, and I love making mixed tapes, which I can no longer really do, since it seems I am one of very few who still even make them or have a tape deck, so I decided I was gonna make a (gag, I hate using this word) virtual mix tape.  I found a blog called Mixtape Therapy that has people write e-mails to it and the chick who writes it spits out a list of really lame songs appropriate to the situation, but a lot of them involve Sum 41 and other really terrible shit.  So, I thought to myself- “What better way to wank my own crank than to do it better and say as much?”  I am not doing the same thing, per se, but I like the idea of posting a list for a mix tape, so I am stealing it, and picking better bands.

It’s sunny, it’s Friday, I’ve had a giant can of Diet Coke, so I am really hyper, and therefore, it is time for the Mega Happy Mix. 

Note:  Not all the lyrics are mega happy, but the music is. 

Please Also Note:  This may be Brit heavy.  That’s because I love English music.  Deal.

1) The Jam- Town Called Malice:  I dare you to hold still to this song.  Try it.  Try harder.  You fucking can’t, can you?  And you get to yell “Ba-ba-ba-ba-bada-ba” in the middle of it.  Good times.  Some of the most depressing lyrics ever.

2) Supergrass- Pumpin On Your Stereo:  Anything with a clap, snap, or a tamborine rules ass, plain and simple.  It’s got all of em.

3) Patrick Wolf- Magic Position:  So. Fucking. Cute.  See above for clapping.

4) Tenderness- General Public:  This song makes me think of running around, holding hands and kissing on your lovey.  Good jam. 

5) Ladyflash- The Go Team:  Another clapping song.  It makes me wanna jump rope in front of a fire hydrant with the lid off in New York City, even though they’re English.

6) Earthquake Heart- The Dirtbombs:  Quite possibly one of the best songs ever written.  It makes you wanna shimmy, shake, and mess your dress.

7) Try A Little Tenderness- Otis Redding:  If you aren’t pumping your fist by the line “Gotta love her, squeeze her, don’t tease her…” you have no soul in any sense of the word.

8) Dress You Up- Madonna:  It’s a fun song, don’t hate.  AND, it’s all dancey and cute.

9) Mint Car- The Cure:  C’mon, really, how many super happy ones do they do?  So cute!  “Vanilla smile and a gorgeous straberry kiss?”  Precious!

10) Move on Up- Curtis Mayfield:  The brass is awesome, the lyrics are snappy, and Curtis rules ass!

11) Flashlight – Parliament:  This is the funkiest of the funk.  A good stinky funk.  Funky funky funk.  The mothership is gonna give you a 1 way trip ticket to Awesome Land!  Plus, any song that commands you to “Dance, Sucka!” rules!

12) Remember the Time- Michael Jackson:  I don’t care.  Fuck you.  It’s still a good song.  The lyrics are pretty incipid, but it’s sweet and a good summer jam.  “Do you remember?  On the phone?  After dark?  You and me, in Spain?  What about us, Girl?!”

13) Ice Cube- Today Was a Good Day:  Dude, any day you don’t have to use an AK or you get to feel on a big fat fanny, pull out the jammy, and kill the poonanny is a good fuckin day.

14) I Decided- Solange Knowles:  It’s kinda like a lame Supremes song.  I love it.  Hard.  See comment about clapping.

15) It’s Not Unusual- Tom Jones:  The music is crazy happy.  The song is not so much.  But it makes you wanna shake dat rump.  He totally insured his chest hair.  Hell yes.

16) Wake Me Up (Before You Go Go)- Wham!:  C’mon.  Seriously.  This requires no comment.  Plus, he wears a giant shirt that says “Choose Life” in the Video. 

17) Can’t Get You Out of My Head- Kylie Minogue:  Too embarrassed.  Can’t say more.  Hey, look over there!

18) Jungle Love- Morris Day and the Motherfuckin Time:  “I got a bearskin rug, yall!”  Nuff said.  Jerome, I think I’ma need a drank.

19) Sex Shooter- Apollonia 6:  Okay, so apparently, I have Purple Rain on the brain.  The dance to this fucking rules so hard. 

20) I’m Still in Love With You- Sean Paul featuring Sasha:  I so don’t care what anyone says about this one.  I really dislike his voice most of the time, but this song is mega happy!  Lord, I can’t help myself.  It makes me think of drinking beers in the sun.  Then again, a lot of things do.

So, there you go, the Mega Happy Mix.  A little somepin for most folks.

I’m Bringin Home a Baby Bumblebee…

July 8, 2008

Dude, according to Slate.com, you can rent three pounds of bees for about $75.00.  Three pounds of bees sounds like a lot of fucking bees.  Farmers apparently rent the little suckers to pollinate their crops. 

So, are they bee pimps?  I love the idea of a bee pimp so much it hurts. 

Some farmer:  Bitch, where’s my honey?

Bee:  You know I love you baby, I ain’t holdin out on you!

Farmer:  Do I have to choke a bitch out?

Bee:  Naw, baby, it was just a slow season.  I’ll work harder, I promise, baby.  You just have to give me a little time.  Let me crawl all over your face, baby, me and a bunch of my friends and make you a beard like you like.  

Farmer:  Aww, girl, why you make me so angry?  I don’t wanna choke a bitch, but when you mess with my honey, you mess with my emotions. 

Bee:  Lemme make it up to you, daddy. 

-End Scene

I am not crazy about bees.  They actually scare me a little.  However, anything that can get pissed enough to disembowel itself to prove a point deserves props, don’t you think?